Danger Zone 41 to 140 - Tax Man Walzes In

Being involved with the young adults has its little surprises. The latest surprise was how BIG the Gold and Green Ball is with the young adults in the Seattle area. Since we are involved with the institute, we were asked to chaperone the dance. If anyone knows Mike, let’s just say the only thing he has ever done on a crowded basketball floor is - play BASKETBALL. The thought of actually going out onto a wooden floor and do anything else – like dance – would never enter his mind. And of course, being on a mission, dancing is just not anything to be concerned about anyway, Right?
Mike insisted there was some kind of mission rule against them dancing. Yet, Jenny actually read the missionary “white bible” from front to back and found no such rule for Seniors – imagine that!

So don’t let that slow-moving couple with name tags in the right-hand photo fool you. That really is us, showing off our fancy foot work.

It kinda like a scene out of that cowboy Australia movie “Quigley Down Under.” You know the one at the end where Quigley is thought to only be able to shoot with a rifle. So the bad guy ruffs Quigley up a bit and takes away his rifle. Then he gives Quigley a pistol, thinking to beat Quigley in a quick draw. Quigley of course shoots the bad guy and says something to the effect, as the bad guy lay dying, “I didn’t say I wasn’t any good with a pistol. I just said I didn’t appreciate pistols.” Anyway, you get the picture.

In our case, both of us grew up in that wonderful enlightened era of hugely sophisticated dance steps. You know the one we are talking about. Instead of wasting all that time learning those old-fashioned steps (yet somehow, oh so beautiful and graceful steps to the waltz, fox trot, or tango), we grew up knowing the DISCO! As a result, at this stage of life, all we can do (without embarrassing ourselves too much) is one thing. Hold hands and slowly shuffle around the floor in a slow circle thingy. Okay, so that isn’t quite like the Quigley scenario. In fact, maybe it is the opposite. Maybe someone should have shot us and put us out of our misery. But, is was fun to be there with these great young adults. And that is more dance’in than Jenny has been able to get out of Mike in the past 20 years. Who would have thought all Jenny had to do was get Mike out on a mission and he would be such a willing dance partner? Will the miracles of mission life ever cease?

After recovering from the LATE night dancing with the living, we also went the past week with the young adults to the university wards’ temple night to do some work for the dead. We were able to do some WONDERFUL work. It was so great seeing many of the young adults we are working with all dressed in white in the celestial room. Kinda brought tears to some of the “Senior” eyes (this getting older thing, impacts the body more ways than one.) More perhaps on that subject in an upcoming email.

Anyway, we then had to do some planning for the upcoming term. We thought these things just magically happen. By the time we got our class outlines in shape and material ready for the upcoming term, somehow that WHOLE first week came and went. It sort of just flew by getting ready for the next term.

Speaking of flying, lest we forget, we had another SHORT, but wonderful “fly by” visit from some more wonderful friends, Anne and Rich Crosland. What we mean by “fly-by” is exactly that. On P-day morning, Rich and Anne just happened to be flying their way back from Hawaii, (where they and their parents and siblings celebrated Rich’s parent’s 50th wedding anniversary – Way to go Grandpa and Grandma Crosland!) Anyway, as luck would have it, on Saturday morning, they had a 1 ½ hour layover at the Seattle airport. They had e-mailed us earlier and wondered if we had the time to come and chat. We did:

It was so great to see them. Ann and Rich had been flying all night long and had a bit of a Hawaiian sunburn (ya, we felt really sorry for them too.) Seriously, it is so good just to be able to hug someone from home (sorry Elder Sean and Elder CJ – just one of the perks of serving state-side as “Senior” missionaries.)

Our attendance at our normal university Sacrament meetings over the past two weeks has been a little abnormal. It all started at one of the single wards. As you may have noted from previous emails, we have gotten to know the Bishop of this ward really well. He grew up in the same little town of Ucon, Idaho as Mike’s mom. Anyway, Sunday was High Council/speaker day. But, as luck would have it, the High Council speaker didn’t show. Guess who the Bishop called upon to fill the time? We hope to return the favor someday, but we are not sure quite how yet. Anyway, we then were asked to speak in another sacrament meeting the next week in south Seattle. Since the assigned topic didn’t exactly fit one of our already canned talks, we ended up taking more time during the week than anticipated preparing (Maybe just being asked to speak out of the audience wasn’t that bad after all – at least there is no time to prepare – and it’s over before you know it.) Anyway, we are a little slow, but between preparing and doing the next two tasks, somehow the week was gone.

What were the next two tasks you may ask? Well, the State of Washington has a problem with anyone who prepares meals for say 100+ people each week without getting a food handler’s permit. Since we hadn’t taken the test to get our permit, the Institute Director thought it might be a good idea to get one before the Institute got picked to be randomly inspected. After all, if we get someone sick because of our food, we certainly want to make sure we got them sick using Washington state approved rules.

So, we went and took the food handler’s course. For those who have never gotten a food handler’s permit lately, let’s just say you don’t have to be the sharpest knife in the drawer to pass the test. Basically they show you a movie that emphasizes over and over again how to wash your hands and how to keep food out of the danger zone where bacteria and other “bad” things can rapidly happen to food between the temperature range of 41̊ to 140̊. Then they give you a test of 36 questions which asks you 36 different ways of why it’s important to wash your hands and keep the food out of the danger temperature range. However, there is a VERY scary part. We made the mistake of actually looking around the room and seeing all the people who were taking the test. Not that we want to be rude, but if you want to enjoy eating out at any public food establishment in the future, don’t EVER, EVER, EVER visit a food handlers’ testing center and see generally who will be actually handling your food. Let’s just say their individual need to express themselves overshadows any rational thought concerning personal hygiene.

Okay, so the actual test didn’t take that long, but by the time we drove clear over to where you had to take the test and beforehand we foolishly thought that perhaps you needed to at least read the food handler’s material before going to take the test and then by the time we fought traffic there and back, our day was completely shot.

On to the next task. This one, we had been dreading for sometime now. It is that task that is not excused even if you are on a mission. The tax man cometh even after missionaries if he doesn’t get paid. So, as anyone who is “self-employed” can attest, getting everything ready and doing your taxes is not for the faint of heart. And when you have a few different, unrelated businesses, the fun can last for several days.

So went another big chunk of our “off-term” time. After doing our taxes, so went our thoughts of a higher spiritual plane.

So went our two weeks we had somehow thought we would get to use in SO many wonderful of ways.

The term starts again on Monday. Classes start Monday. Here we go again, ready or not.

Actually it is nice getting all the “non-missionary” things off our to-do list. We remember reading one of the Jeppesen’s “Musings” in which they noted once you are out in the mission field, you really do develop a stronge sense of not wanting to do things which would take your focus far away from your work. These past two weeks have driven that point home to us. We look anxiously forward to the students’ return this weekend.

We love our mission. We love the students whom we are called upon to serve.

We hope your Spring is going great!

Love,

Elder “Mike” & Sister “Jenny” Thornton

Potato Famine Hits U-Dub at Term End

Did someone say potato famine? Why it’s almost St. Patty’s day and what would this letter be without a few Irish sayings like:

This week marks the last week before finals at the U-dub. The University is on the quarter system and the first quarter will soon be in the books. Institute classes finished up on Thursday. The next two weeks are going to be really, really odd with no classes to teach and no Friday Friendship Feasts. But, this too shall pass and it will give us a little more time to go about and do some real visiting of the less active students (after finals.) Also the “young” missionaries have asked us if we could help them with some of their investigators, so that would be fun too.

As for Friday Friendship Feast and our classes, we are feeling pretty good how they ended for the quarter. As for the feasting part, as you may recall, it has been one of our goals to double attendance and turn it into a meal designed for students to invite their less-active and non-member friends. Of course, we weren’t just looking to double attendance to give us more work on Friday. The stories behind the numbers are what make it worth the while.

For example, as one of the “young” missionaries put it, he said, “Sister Thornton, did you know that we now have investigators who are inviting investigators to come to the Friday Friendship Feast?” What? Non-member investigators inviting other non-members to Institute? Of course, we can’t help but get just a little excited when we get news like that. This is exactly what a “Friendship” feast is all about.

Also, the “young” missionaries working on U-dub campus (3 sets of them) are having more baptisms than they can remember as of late. Of course, we know that is not because of us, but, to some extent it is because of the great member-students at the Institute who are really making a concerted effort to make the Institute a place where all, student or non-student, member or non-member alike, are all welcome. And we are just happy to support them anyway we can.

Several “less-active” students seem to also be giving Institute another try. One example this week was with a student named Roger, who says he has been “off the church radar” – (meaning he hasn’t done anything with church) - for over 5 years. Roger said he had been active in his youth, had even been a student EFY counselor and had served an honorable mission. But when he got home, somehow he drifted away and even became somewhat anti. Anyway, he said word had spread about the Friday Feasts and he decided to give it a try. Now he has attended a few times. In doing so, he has met a few of the students, made some friends and he now wants to give church another try.

Another young man, Richard, came into Institute this week and sat down and talked with us. He said he was a member, but didn’t know who the current prophet of the church was. He said he has a non-member friend who is sick in the hospital. He was wondering if he could just borrow some of the Institute material to read while sitting around at the hospital when he is visiting his friend. Of course, we loaded him up and told him to come back anytime he wanted. He then asked if we would call his parents and tell them he was doing okay and that he had actually dropped by the Institute. Of course we did. We hope to see him back soon. Anyway, these are just some of the reasons why we get a “lift” just by being here and serving these great students.

Also this week we had a special treat. Steven Harper, one of the Editors for the Joseph Smith Papers came and spoke at the lunch to the students (the Institute has also made arrangements for him to speak to a larger YSA group on Sunday.) Anyway, we wanted to make sure a lot of students came to lunch so as not to disappoint him. Since St. Patrick’s day is almost upon us, we went with an “Ode to the Potato” theme to celebrate Ireland. For dessert we served Tres leche cake. (Ya, we know that is a “Spanish” dessert, but if you put enough green food coloring in anything its turns “Irish” don’t ya know?) Anyway, Brother Harper came and his lecture on the Joseph Smith Papers was very fascinating. As a result of the speaker, or the cake, (we are not sure which was the MORE exciting draw) we hit an all-time record (at least for us) of 100+. Hence, we had a little potato famine. By the end of the lunch, there wasn’t one potato skin left, nor a crumb of cake. We ended up having to go out to lunch somewhere else in order to get a bite to eat.

We think we will try to serve Tres leche cake everytime we get a famous writer or editor come and speak. Speaking of which, does anybody know any FAMOUS writer, better yet, any former U-dub graduate / famous writer we could get to speak sometime before we go home next December? Not that we would want just any former U-dub graduate / famous writer / missionary. But does anyone know exactly when a certain Nauvoo PR missionary couple will be getting off their mission, hint, hint?

As for our Institute classes, we have seen a small increase in the number of students attending over the term. This has caused us to breathe a big sigh of relief. Why? You have to remember, unlike BYU students, students attending a non-BYU school do not have any requirement to take a religion class. Attendance is completely voluntary. As a result, if they don’t like the class, they just quit attending (and can you really blame them with all the other pressures they have in their “accredited” classes?) Anyway, since we had never taught before, visions of empty classrooms at the end of the term made us a little nervous. So to see an increase, even a small one, is a very good thing. But now the pressure is on, because the Institute Director is actually giving us an additional class to teach next term.

Well, as they say, no good deed goes unpunished. If you recall, we had a great visit a few weeks back at the Institute by our good friends Ken & Carol Milburn - who we put right to work. Carol then asked Jenny if she would speak at their Relief Society Birthday celebration this last Thursday. Of course, after the Milburns slaved at the Institute, how could we say “No?” Okay, it actually wasn’t that hard for Mike to say “Yes” since all he had to do was go and hang out with Ken while Jenny went and spoke. Of course, Carol is a sweetheart and Jenny was happy to return a favor. But, since neither of us have had our haircut since arriving here in Seattle, Jenny thought it best to get at least a cut before going down to speak. Of course, we are very particular about our appearances, (LOL), so we went to see Jacque. Okay, so we had a coupon for ½ price haircuts at Jacque C. Penney. And guess what? We got our ½ money’s worth. Mike came out the best, but just how bad can you mess up a man’s short haircut? As for Jenny? After Jenny went to extreme lengths on telling her beautician just how she wanted it cut and then have the beautician say, “No problem, I can do exactly that,” she then went and cut Jenny’s hair. And guess what? Jenny’s new Do, looked, well, exactly like the Do worn by the beautician - NOT Jenny. We have one more speaking engagement in a south Seattle Ward this upcoming week. Let us just say Jenny may be looking for another ½ price coupon to perhaps a different salon in the very near future.

And now it’s almost time to relax a little on Sunday during Easter and General Conference. Isn’t it funny how out in the mission field, no matter where you are serving, you tend to look forward, almost to the point of craving, the next General Conference? Or maybe it is just because we ran out of potatoes before we had a chance to eat. Or maybe there really is such a thing as spiritual cravings and maybe, just maybe, we have reached an age where we are getting to know the difference between the promptings from our stomach and those from a higher place.

May we leave you with a final Irish saying:

Love,
Elder “Mike” & Sister “Jenny”

Bible Bumps? Wholly Frijoles!

We are celebrating the taco this week at Institute.

That is really the only reason we can think of why we included this old family photo of us in Mexico:

Big Shout Out to Willow Larson for her recipe on “Fried Ice Cream!” Thanks Willow!

Onto a different subject, a recent event that has given us reason to ponder our missionary experience in the following way:

Even though your spirit may be strong and willing, is there a point when the flesh starts to weaken – even to revolt when you are on a mission?

Apparently so, because we think Mike’s body tried to stage a coup.

We aren’t sure the exact date, but somewhere about the time we made it to Seattle, we noticed a small lump on Mike’s left wrist. Over the past few months, the lump increased in size.

What such a lump does to your otherwise rational thought processes and spiritual well-being is probably as unique as the individual. So you probably can’t guess what such a lump caused Mike to ponder – or maybe you can.

Mike’s thought process went something like this, “Hey, we are on a mission. I don’t have time to be bothered with this. If it gets too bad, they can just take my hand off at the wrist and fit me with a hook, right?”

This of course, led to even BETTER reasoning as he exclaimed, “Hey, maybe they can fit me with an eye patch too and I can go around saying great one-liners like –
‘ARRGH!!! You’d best be read’in me book about Capt’n Moroni or you’ll be tast’in the broadside of me sword!’”

Which caused Jenny to ponder and exclaim,
“WRONG!!! You are SO wrong. I will NOT be first-mate to any Elder Pirate! This mate will lead a mutiny if you don’t go to the doctor and get that thing checked out!”

To which Mike responded, “All right, but only if you can tell me what has 8 legs and 8 eyes?”

After an all too brief of a pause, he then blurts out, “8 Pirates! I guess I don’t have to go today do I?”

This goes on and on for a couple of months, until finally Jenny overpowered Mike and takes him to the doctor – peg arm and all.

Just how does a 5’2” Sister missionary overpower a 6’2” Elder? Answer: Fairly easily. That is why we are still happily married after 24 years!

So, after THREE hours in the doctor’s office, the doctor sallied forth into the room, takes one look at Mike’s wrist and says, “Yep, I know exactly what that is. You have (drum roll please) a ganglion cyst!”

Pausing for even more dramatic effect, he then blurts out, “You have a Bible Bump man!”

The doctor then explained, “Overtime they can swell up and can grow quite large.”

Mike responds, “That doesn’t sound so bad, UGLY perhaps, but not so bad. Can I get a hook?”

The doctor, not sure what to do with that information continued, “The reason it’s called a Bible bump, is because in the ‘old days’ doctors tried to cure the bump by smacking it with something hard like a Bible.”

Mike then responded, “Hey, we’re missionaries. We just happen to have a Bible if you don’t. How much would you charge me to take a smack at it? If it is too much, we are on a budget, and I’ll just take smack it myself.”

The doctor’s eyebrows then start doing funny things as he responds, “I wouldn’t advise doing that. The smack method only works about 50% of the time and if you hit too hard, you could break your wrist or do some other damage. I would simply advise you to leave it alone until you get home and see your family physician in Utah. They usually correct it by surgery nowadays.”

At this point, a voice of reason in the corner of the room echoes out as Jenny rises to her feet and calmly says, “Thank you doctor. We will certainly take your advice.”

Well, believe it or not, Mike lasted over TWO weeks before – you guessed it – WHACK! And believe it or not, it’s gone! No broken wrist, no hook, nothing! (For the brave, if you want more info on Bible bumps, just Wikipedia “bible bump,” and you will get to see pictures of what we are talking about – but we warn you – it’s not for the squeamish, non-pirate type.)

On to more important things, as for this week, we have a double-double. That is basketball lingo for doing two HUGE tasks at the same time. Like John Stockton getting double-digit assists and scoring in double-digits all in one game – a Double – Double. Okay, maybe we did sit through too many of our kids’ games – 600+ we figure collectively. (Speaking of basketball, Provo is on the edge of turning their back-to-back state titles today into a three-peat as they once again are privileged to make it to the big dance – This time against WEST. Thanks to everyone for the updates! Go Dawgs!!)

So, the double-double for us is this: After teaching our normal teaching load and then coming to the end of the week and preparing the normal Friday feast (viva MEXICO!) For a second week, the Institute is having a “Meet & Greet.” This time with 100 high school juniors and seniors. Between workshops and a meal for 100+, we are wondering if we can get it all done. We are also going to a double baptism (Yeh!!) and also trying to squeek in a violin concert on campus, being performed by one of our favorite U-dub students. Lucky it is our P-day! Or we don’t think we would be able to pull it off. Our spirits are truly willing, but our flesh is weak. However, our faith remains strong that the Lord once again will somehow make us equal to the task.

In the words of Skippy Jon Jones, “Wholly Frijoles!”

Elder “Mike” & Sister “Jenny”